Glimpses of Me

lupus.cheezburger.com

Since the start of this latest flare (did it have a start?) I've been feeling unlike myself.

At first it was mega brain fog. I didn't know who I was and what I was doing most of the time.

Then there was the chaos of moving house.  Somewhere in that my brain started functioning at a basic level again, which was probably good in the circumstances.

After the move, I've been exhausted and sore.

But, I've had patches of being back to my "normal" self.

I've done some exercise, not as much as I used to do, but I've been taking my old dog for short walks on the days it hasn't rained. I did ten minute yoga sessions a couple of times.  (It was beginner's level yoga, bending only a very little bit, and still accompanied with loud crunching and cracking sounds.)

On Sunday, I had a fantastic morning.  I haven't gone back to leading complete worship services yet, but we had two gorgeous children to be baptised, and I did that section of the service.  It felt so good to be doing that, and I felt so well, I was starting to think maybe I was ready to go back to ministry part-time.  Then I got home, fell into bed, slept a couple of hours and woke up in agony.

So I'm not ready to go back to work yet. But it's a good sign.  As my doctor said this morning, "It's good that we're getting glimpses of you again."  Of course she also cautioned to keep taking things very slowly.

For now, those glimpses of me are very exciting. Those couple of times when I get to feel well again are just amazing.