It's OK to be Unreliable

One of the things I really hate about lupus is that I am unreliable.

It's not just me.  When I asked what other lupies had learned from lupus, there were a couple of people who responded about being unreliable.

It's not just that we feel bad about being unreliable, but that we also take on how others feel about our being unreliable.

We feel guilty and frustrated because we have to cancel plans.

Our friends and family may get frustrated or upset with us for constantly cancelling plans.  Some of them even give up making plans with us.

Their response makes us feel even more guilty and frustrated.

If they stop making plans with us, it also helps make us feel more isolated.

It's time for a line from my Granddaughter's favourite movie: "Let it go."  (Actually, my Granddaughter thinks the movie is named, "Let it Go", but that's a different story.)

We're going to be unreliable. We're going to plan for things and then be too sick to do them.  But that's no reason to stop planning things.  Beating ourselves up isn't going to change anything.  So we just have to accept that we will miss out on some things, but if we keep making plans, we will get to enjoy actually doing some of them.

We are responsible for how we react to our own being unreliable.  We are not responsible for how other people react to it.  Their thoughts, feelings, and actions are their own.  We don't control them. If they can't come to terms with a friend or family member being sick, that's their issue.