Realistic Pain Scale

Pain scale.
Source: https://openclipart.org/detail/218053/pain-scale

Do you ever find the pain scale used by medical practitioners is a little inadequate to describe what you are actually experiencing?

Pain Scale used by doctors and nurses:

"On a scale of zero to ten, with zero being no pain and ten being the worst pain imaginable, tell me what level of pain you are feeling now."

Realistic Pain Scale for Lupies:

• Coma/general anaesthetic (How else could we have no pain?)
• It's good.  (Pain level is low enough that I can convince everyone that I'm not in pain.)
• I'm fine. (I can convince people who don't know me well I'm not in pain.)
• It's OK. (I am still basically functional, but there's a limit to the function.)
• It hurts a bit. (I want to scream, but I'm gritting my teeth and continuing on.)
• Distracting. (I can't concentrate on anything, because the pain is overwhelming everything else.)
• Exploding. (Intense pain in just one place.  Like a burst appendix, or childbirth with no pain relief and a great deal of cutting.)
• Drawn and quartered. (Intense pain in multiple places.)
• Hit by a bus. (Intense pain in all places.)
• Dear God, please just let me die now! (Unbearable pain, and if you show me your smiley and grumpy face chart, I will hit you with it.)