Utterly Exhausted

Utterly exhausted.

I'm utterly exhausted!

Usually I have energy in winter - it's summer that wipes me out.

This winter's the exception.  I'm sleeping all night and most of the day.

Even when I'm awake I'm struggling to stay that way.

What's different this winter?  I don't know.  Maybe it's the emotional strain of all the losses I've experienced lately (in less than three years, my best friend from high school and her mother have both died, my father died, my brother died, and lastly my beautiful cat died. Oh, the kitten in the picture is new, not the cat who died.)

Maybe it's the strain of a heap of unexpected financial pressures. (From a neighbour complaining that my trees need to be cut down, to the air conditioner and washing machine needing repairs, to endless other small and large niggling financial pressures.) Being sick is itself an expense, and not being able to work limits my income.

I'm assuming it's emotional strain that's causing the fatigue, because to be honest, I haven't done anything physical in ages, so it can't be physical fatigue.

Maybe it's just lupus being lupus and doing the unexpected. Winter is time for aches and pains - fatigue usually belongs in summer.  This winter, I'm getting the aches and pains, but also the fatigue.

Either way, I'm struggling to be awake.

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